The Morning Bulge

We're What You Wake Up With

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its #@&$ing cold.

skating climbing sliding
across western south dakota
the wind whips against
but even the clouds
can’t keep up with us

and then neither can the transmission
of our old oldsmobile olds 88.

i hate getting out of bed
when the air outside our window
is colder than dick cheney’s heart
i am not surprised our car
feels the same way.

where are my slippers
where is reverse
where are my sweatpants
where is second gear

oh well.  i run naked to the bathroom
and shiver out my morning piss
and you, car, will just piss out
refusing to accelerate
taking each hill
like an 88 year old man takes a hallway

i can’t blame you.
its fucking cold.

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You thought you were free but….. The Bulge returneth

Greetings everyone
Sorry to those who have been experiencing withdrawal from my lack of posting during the small hiatus I took. Not to worry though, the Morning Bulge is coming back as ferociously as that little reminder of your fun getaway in Vegas does I’m 2013.

Anywho. So many events have happened since my last post. Sandy Hook Elementary shooting and the last minute bandaid that the government agreed on to prevent us from falling off the fiscal cliff. All in all, the world is still much the same.

Just wanted to post to let you guys know that I didn’t off myself in the fear that the world was gonna end. (Fuck you Mayans). Until next time

Bernard

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O Eleanor, Eleanor, wherefore art thou Eleanor? My heart yearns to hear your voice again.

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Looking at a video like this and how medicine has evolved over the years just blows my mind. In the video it tells how much money major countries have allocated for regenerative medicine and it’s just mind blowing how far behind the United States is. As a country we need to stop treating symptoms and start treating the causes early on or even preventing when it comes to medicine. That’s why we are 51st in life expectancy. So hopefully Obamacare will help us get back to the top tier of medicine where a lot of people already naively think we are. I think that regenerative medicine is what we need to look into extensively because it will be the medicine of the future. 

-Bernard

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Well sometimes life gives you lemonade. And if you drink enough of it eventually you’ll have to squeeze the lemon…….I think that’s how it goes.

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Words to live by: “Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.”

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Put Your Money Where Your Bulge Is

imageAs Americans, we spent $59.1 billion dollars over the Black Friday weekend.  So much for Buy Nothing Day.


But we have the choice to be different.

When we were small we shivered with anticipation for the arrival of Santa, presents, stockings.  I was told every year that the true meaning of Christmas is Jesus.  That’s nice, and the season of advent is beautiful and reflective.  But perhaps we’d benefit from the retelling of Saint Nick over the repetitive tale of a manger.

First off, who the hell gives a shit if its a legend.  Let’s not hold so tightly to our need for facts that we miss out on all that is true in the fiction.  

Supposedly Saint Nikolas gave a poor man enough money to pay a dowry for his three daughters so they would be able to get married.  In a society based around marital status, the unmarried daughters would have most likely needed to become prostitutes in order to survive.  So jolly old St. Nick didn’t just give a monetary donation—his gift actually diverted human lives away from a system that oppressed the poor.

In the days leading up to Christmas, we are going to post some creative ways for you to spend money that actually helps change our communities and our world.

If you want to give locally but don’t have a clue what is near you, check out: greatnonprofits.org

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What a lemon! One minute it’s running like a top, and the next it’s broken down on the side of the road. And I can’t fix a car like this, because I don’t have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don’t know if I could fix a car like this!

Dignan [Bottle Rocket]